The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the MindAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).
B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .
When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that numerous of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".
Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If my site not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!