The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and consequences.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).
B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and wellness .
However when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in metropolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that webpage in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
North adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, check that though in some cases it can grow gradually.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all why not try this out those exciting triggers!