The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

However when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They probably would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in pop over to this web-site a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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