The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the SkullAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good as well).
B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These this post chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .
But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that numerous of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys specifically in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a click here now trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!