The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and well-being .
Visit Website However when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that much of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay males especially in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!