The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent also).
B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of attraction, excitement, closeness, love, and well-being .
When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys specifically in city areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes useful content and truth hits.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, find out this here values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!