The Sensuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the NogginAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and consequences.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).
B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, nearness, love, and well-being .
When problems pop over here arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay males particularly in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
However, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow in time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.
To avoid the go now Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!