The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the SkullAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries immense significance and effects.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state web of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .
When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
However, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!