The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and repercussions.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good too).
B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of destination, excitement, nearness, love, and wellness .
When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that many of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Click Here Trap.
" For gay males specifically in city locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".
North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means Oxytocin combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!