The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, making love carries enormous meaning and consequences.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great as well).
B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .
When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in urbane areas, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay males wish to discover from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?". you could check here
North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound this content judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying try this out full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!