The Sex Temptation, Stabilizing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love brings tremendous significance and repercussions.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel go to my blog very near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness see here .
But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".
North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be click to read more there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!