The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and consequences.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).
B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .
However when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Many gay guys wish to discover out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".
North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- view website while feeling all those interesting sparks!